{"id":32063,"date":"2014-10-07T15:10:34","date_gmt":"2014-10-07T19:10:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/?p=32063"},"modified":"2022-06-27T10:29:54","modified_gmt":"2022-06-27T14:29:54","slug":"controlling-executive-director","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/controlling-executive-director\/","title":{"rendered":"The Control Freak Executive Director"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Get Joan\u2019s latest advice delivered to your inbox each week. <a href=\"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/subscribe\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Click here to sign up<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Got a burning question for Joan? <a href=\"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/comments-and-suggestions\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Submit your questions and comments here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Joan,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I have an ED that keeps trying to control both me as President as well as other Board Members. She insists I run things by her first, even when it\u2019s an ongoing board discussion or a clearly identified board issue. Additionally, she insists that she attends any meeting I have with a potential funder, despite the fact the funder is a connection through me.<\/p>\n<p>For months now we [board members] have all been struggling with her trying to control everything. Committees make suggestions concerning items they are tasked to oversee and she gets rigid and angry that they are \u201cinterfering.\u201d In addition, she has dropped the ball on areas she is responsible for\u2026 promises to corporate sponsors, correcting financial reports where the bookkeeper made a mistake, etc. She won\u2019t stay focused on her domain.<\/p>\n<p>It isn\u2019t so simple to just fire her. She\u2019s very good in so many other ways but the insanity and the too often daily meltdowns are troublesome and time consuming. When we try to talk with her about this, her constant mantra is, \u201cBut it impacts me!\u201d What should we do?<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Fed Up With My Controlling Executive Director<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Fed Up,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sometimes I feel more like a therapist than a consultant. Your email almost sounds like it comes from somebody in a bad romantic relationship. \u201cShe\u2019s verbally abusive and I\u2019m constantly walking on egg shells with her. You never know what might set her off. But she has such beautiful eyes and I can\u2019t imagine not being with her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But before we decide that you should obviously \u201cjust dump her,\u201d let\u2019s first take a deeper dive into this particular situation. First, the bad.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>It seems like she doesn\u2019t get just how good she has it. Most E.D.s would do a happy dance just at the thought of a Board Chair having a meeting with a potential donor. Seriously, I get more complaints about <a title=\"How to Convince Your Board to Fundraise\" href=\"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/nonprofit-fundraising-plan-board\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">board members who don\u2019t fundraise<\/a> than any other topic.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Getting \u2018rigid and angry\u2019 with the folks who are responsible for your annual performance review and ultimately whether you keep your job seems like poor form to me. Just sayin\u2019.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cToo often daily meltdowns?\u201d Wow. Another big flag. Would you take this kind of behavior from a staffer at your day job? I certainly hope not, no matter how valuable the staffer is.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Just like an abusive significant other, it\u2019s clear the board is <em>intimidated<\/em> by the E.D. Wrong dynamic.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><h3>JUST FIRE HER?<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<p>This all sounds pretty bad. I\u2019m not saying otherwise.<\/p>\n<p>But there is a flip side. Her constant mantra: \u201cBut it impacts me.\u201d Maybe it seems paranoid. But in this case, she is <em>absolutely right<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Considering my own experience as the E.D. at GLAAD, I was very involved in the workings of my board \u2013 who we recruited, who should be in the board leadership pipeline, pushing for a higher give\/get policy. The list goes on.<\/p>\n<p>And there was a good reason for it.<\/p>\n<p><em><a title=\"My Board Won\u2019t Listen to Me\" href=\"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/board-wont-listen\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">I could not be a rockstar E.D. without a rockstar board<\/a>.<\/em> No E.D. can.<\/p>\n<p>So <a title=\"How a CEO and Board Chair Can Build an Amazing Partnership\" href=\"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/ceo-board-chair-partnership\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">you do want an E.D. who is very involved with the board<\/a>. But when is it too much?<\/p>\n<p><h3>5 CLEAR SIGNS YOUR E.D. HAS TOO MUCH POWER<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<p>So what does \u201cvery involved\u201d look like? Where are the lines? When does it stop being healthy? And when it becomes unhealthy, who is to blame? A controlling Executive Director? Or a board that is asleep at the switch?<\/p>\n<p><strong>1) The E.D. prepares the agenda for the board meeting.\u00a0<\/strong>Should the E.D. have input? You betcha. But should the E.D. drive the agenda while the board chair sits idly by? No way. As a board chair, it is YOUR board meeting.<\/p>\n<p>Assuming quarterly meetings, the board chair and E.D. should meet and talk about the core elements that will make the upcoming board meeting successful and <a title=\"What Makes A Board Meeting A Home Run?\" href=\"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/run-a-great-board-meeting\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">plan agenda items around that<\/a>. As board chair, you should insist on some element of interactivity so that the board can actually <a title=\"10 Good Questions Board Members Should Ask\" href=\"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/10-good-questions-board-members-should-ask\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ask questions and become engaged<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2) The E.D. behaves like a big baby during the annual review process.\u00a0<\/strong>E.D.\u2019s out there: remember you are being reviewed by a bunch of volunteers. It will be imperfect. Nonprofits are messy, remember? You will never hear all the good positive stroking you deserve. So stop feeling so insecure and be open to constructive criticism.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3) The E.D. severely limits staff interaction and discussion about performance.\u00a0<\/strong>Listen up E.D.s \u2013 Yes<em>, <\/em>staff management is your purview. But<em>, <\/em>a board needs to know about issues that have an impact on the effectiveness of your organization.<\/p>\n<p>So the best way to include your board is to provide a staffing overview in executive session. Proactively offer details like open positions, hiring challenges, and personnel issues. Then let them weigh in and ask questions. Let them know who\u2019s doing a great job too. You have to let your board in on HR. It is the <em>people<\/em> who do the work.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4) When the E.D. drives all the committee work.\u00a0<\/strong>If your committee chairs feel disempowered or become disengaged, double check that it isn\u2019t because the E.D. has taken over<\/p>\n<p><strong>5) When the board <em>gives<\/em> the E.D. too much power<\/strong>. Seems obvious but power has to be held in the organization. If the board cedes its power, a controlling Executive Director will fill the void.<\/p>\n<p><h3>WHAT CAN A BOARD CHAIR DO TO CHANGE THE DYNAMIC?<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<p>Not an easy question. The founding fathers of the U.S. government did their level best to create a balance of power and see where that\u2019s gotten us?<\/p>\n<p>But here are a few thoughts for you board chairs out there.<\/p>\n<p>1) <strong>Own your power<\/strong>. Remember, the buck ultimately starts with you. Whether s\/he likes it or not, you are the ultimate authority. Don\u2019t forget that. Maybe the E.D. is grabbing power because you aren\u2019t owning yours.<\/p>\n<p>2) <strong>Talk to your fellow board members.<\/strong> Take their pulse on this; engage them in a discussion about owning <em>their<\/em> power. <em>It\u2019s time to stop being afraid of your E.D.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>3) <strong>Shift in small and intentional steps<\/strong>. Start with the board meeting. Ask for a draft agenda well in advance. Indicate that you want to dedicate a meeting to review the draft far enough ahead so the two of you <em>together<\/em> can define success for the meeting. Board meetings are critical to the creation of board cohesion and giving board members what they need to be successful champions for your organization. You need to advocate for that.<\/p>\n<p>One last note (saving the best for last): The <a title=\"What\u2019s The Single Best Sign of a Healthy Nonprofit?\" href=\"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/best-sign-healthy-nonprofit\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">single most important indicator of the health of a nonprofit<\/a> is the relationship between the executive director and the board chair. The key word here is <em>relationship.<\/em> Try to make it work.<\/p>\n<p>And if you can\u2019t, it may be time to vote this E.D. off the island.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212; Joan<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Joan responds to a reader, the President of the board of a nonprofit, who is frustrated with her overly controlling executive director.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":32068,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-board","category-ceo"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium 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