{"id":555661,"date":"2015-11-10T12:06:58","date_gmt":"2015-11-10T17:06:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/?p=555661"},"modified":"2022-07-06T14:57:03","modified_gmt":"2022-07-06T18:57:03","slug":"ice-breakers-nonprofit-retreats","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/ice-breakers-nonprofit-retreats\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best Ice Breaker of All Time For Nonprofit Retreats"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ice breakers are the worst, right? I have facilitated literally hundreds<\/em> of board and staff retreats and usually one of the very first things I hear are complaints about ice breakers.<\/p>\n

\u201cPLEASE no ice breakers.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t do ropes courses.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t share. I won\u2019t, I won\u2019t, I won\u2019t.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe touchy feely stuff makes my skin crawl.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I get it.<\/p>\n

So when I facilitate a board retreat or a staff retreat, I always promise \u201cNO ICE BREAKERS!\u201d<\/p>\n

Confession time. I do <\/em>use an ice breaker, I just don\u2019t call it that. Now you know.<\/p>\n

So yes I lied. But here\u2019s the absolute truth. My secret ice breaker recipe is foolproof. I\u2019ve used it hundreds of times. It works every single time. People love it. Often, it\u2019s transformative.<\/p>\n

Today I share my secret recipe with you. And yes I understand that from this day forward, it will no longer be secret.<\/p>\n

And I have a bonus at the end. So read the entire thing. It\u2019ll be worth it.<\/p>\n

HERE\u2019S WHY MOST ICE BREAKERS STINK<\/h2>\n

The short answer: Most of them are just dumb.<\/p>\n

For the longer answer, I\u2019ll give you an example.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a standard ice breaker that lots of folks use. It\u2019s actually a lot of fun. It\u2019s called \u201cDrag Name\u201d. Ever heard of it?<\/p>\n

Basically the way it works is that you combine the name of your first childhood pet with your mother\u2019s maiden name. It gets pretty funny. \u201cFluffy Rosenberg.\u201d <\/em>I remember cracking up at that one.<\/p>\n

Ok, so we all get a good laugh. I guess it loosens things up. But why exactly are we doing this? Did I actually learn anything important about my staff? Did the ice breaker bring us together as a team? Did it allow us to really dig deep and talk to each other<\/em> about stuff that mattered?<\/p>\n

Nope.<\/p>\n

DO WE EVEN NEED ICE BREAKERS IN THE FIRST PLACE?<\/h2>\n

In fact we do.<\/p>\n

While everyone hates ice breakers as a way to start retreats, everyone also shares a core goal: \u201cbonding,\u201d \u201cgetting to know one another better,\u201d \u201ccreating a sense of cohesion\u201d \u201cbuilding a sense of team.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

You cannot accomplish these kinds of goals without some kind of vehicle, mechanism, exercise. You know\u2026 an ice breaker.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s one I used once that helped a lot in a specific case. This isn\u2019t my foolproof super-secret awesome \u201cdon\u2019t-call-it-an-ice breaker\u201d ice breaker. I\u2019ll get to that shortly. But it was still pretty cool.<\/p>\n

I ran a staff retreat for a new Executive Director. The former E.D. had been absolutely horrible to every staff member – they were carrying all that abuse and clearly needed to let it go.<\/p>\n

RELATED POST: NONPROFIT RETREATS THE RIGHT WAY<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

The retreat site was near a body of water. The agenda included an outdoor activity by the water.<\/p>\n

I had everyone grab 3-4 sticks or rocks. One at a time each person threw something in the water. The rules were simple. Throw it as hard as you can and just before you throw it, announce to the group something the previous boss to the organization did to you that you just need to let go of.<\/p>\n

Cheesy? Maybe. But it worked like a charm. Brought the group together, offered the new E.D. a real understanding of the past administration and served as a symbolic passing of the baton. It was funny at times, poignant at others.<\/p>\n

OK, I so I promised a foolproof recipe for a retreat ice breaker. Let me not hold you in suspense any longer.<\/p>\n

JOAN\u2019S FOOLPROOF \u201cDON\u2019T-CALL-IT-AN-ICE BREAKER\u201d ICE BREAKER FOR A NONPROFIT RETREAT<\/h2>\n

Ask every participant to write a two page bio submitted 3-4 days before the retreat.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n

There are some guidelines.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. This is a personal bio, not your formal professional bio.<\/li>\n
  2. It cannot be longer than 2 pages.<\/li>\n
  3. If it takes you more than 2 hours, you\u2019re overthinking it.<\/li>\n
  4. You must include at least 1 photo, which cannot be a professional headshot.<\/li>\n
  5. There must be some reference to the roots of your commitment to the work of the organization.<\/li>\n
  6. The format is entirely up to you. I\u2019ve had a finance staff member prepare his in an excel spreadsheet. I\u2019ve seen a board member make a collage with statements under each image. One program staff member wrote a spoken word poem.<\/li>\n
  7. Let folks know there will be a quiz. This is important. Make a joke about it. No grades, no judgment. But it ensures that folks read the book. What book? I\u2019ll get to that in a moment.<\/li>\n
  8. I always include an example when I send out the assignment. Give folks a frame of reference about how they might approach it (hint: this is the bonus I mentioned earlier\u2026 I\u2019m going to share with you MY ice breaker bio\u2026 this is the most personal I\u2019ve ever gotten on this website.)<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    So, about that \u201cbook\u201d I mentioned in #7. Once you get everyone\u2019s bio, compile it into a single PDF so it feels like a book. Send this \u201cbook\u201d out to everyone.<\/p>\n

    Ask everyone to read the book before the retreat. If you doubt people will do this, don\u2019t. I promise you\u2019ll get full buy-in. Folks will be dying to know how others approached the assignment.<\/p>\n

    On retreat day, you use the bio book in three ways.<\/p>\n

    Pop Quiz<\/strong><\/p>\n

    This is actually my favorite part when I facilitate.<\/p>\n

    Sometimes when I have enough time, I do a little PowerPoint presentation. In at least one bio, there is always something really funny, something remarkable and something really, really lovely.<\/p>\n

    I try to capture all of that in the quiz and I work to include everyone. If you don\u2019t have a facilitator, get 1-2 staff members to put the quiz together.<\/p>\n

    Common Themes<\/strong><\/p>\n

    This is the bonding part. It never fails.<\/p>\n

    There are prominent threads and themes across all the bios. Everything from the role of women in people\u2019s lives to loss to determination. The bios tell you what you need to know about what brings this group together.<\/p>\n

    Generous Inquiry<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Once you start talking about the bios, they leave you with questions. Not of the nosy variety, but of the \u201cI loved what you wrote and want to know more\u201d variety. Ice breaker indeed.<\/p>\n

    I remember a staff member who was raised by a woman who was not his birth mother. Everyone was dying to know what became of her, if he still had a relationship with her. He loved her to pieces and was happy to talk.<\/p>\n

    This can happen at any point during the retreat. Do this when it feels right.<\/p>\n

    BUT EVERYONE HATES ICE BREAKERS. HOW DO YOU GET PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY DO THIS?<\/h2>\n

    A few important things to know before you embark on the foolproof ice breaker recipe.<\/p>\n