{"id":585172,"date":"2017-02-08T18:30:28","date_gmt":"2017-02-08T23:30:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/?p=585172"},"modified":"2022-06-27T10:29:40","modified_gmt":"2022-06-27T14:29:40","slug":"imposter-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/imposter-syndrome\/","title":{"rendered":"The New Executive Director Was a Fraud"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Do you ever feel like a phony?<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t mean in the Holden Caulfield sense<\/a> of the word.<\/p>\n

I mean you have this nagging suspicion that even though you\u2019ve obtained a position of real authority; even though you\u2019ve seemingly accomplished a lot; it\u2019s all a farce. You don\u2019t really know what you\u2019re doing. And everyone is eventually going to figure it out.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re a fake. A fraud. An imposter.<\/p>\n

For some, this insecurity can become as debilitating as a physical illness.<\/p>\n

But guess what? You\u2019re not remotely alone. Practically everyone<\/em> feels this way. I know I do, at least sometimes. This feeling is so common it has a name. It\u2019s called \u201cImposter Syndrome.\u201d<\/p>\n

Imposter Syndrome became a \u201cthing\u201d in 1978 thanks to two psychologists who described it as a feeling of \u201cphoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement.\u201d While these people \u201care highly motivated to achieve,\u201d they also \u201clive in fear of being \u2018found out\u2019 or exposed as frauds.\u201d<\/p>\n

There are plenty of remarkably successful people who suffer from it. You can read this New York Times article<\/a> to learn more about it.<\/p>\n

It will sound familiar, I guarantee you.<\/p>\n

I call it \u201cthe man behind the curtain.\u201d The image locked in our brains of Toto pulling the curtain back to reveal the meek man from Kansas who was no wizard at all.<\/p>\n

And yet he was.<\/p>\n

And so are you.<\/p>\n

And as a nonprofit leader, you cannot afford to let Imposter Syndrome detract from fulfilling your mission. Too many are counting on you.<\/p>\n

So today I want to tell you my own story of dealing with Imposter Syndrome and offer you some thoughts about how you as a nonprofit leader \u2013 board or staff \u2013 can beat this \u201cthing.\u201d<\/p>\n

MY STRUGGLE WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n

It was my first day as an Executive Director. I woke up, put on my Executive Director costume, and flew from New York to Los Angeles.<\/p>\n

I spent the day with the Director of Finance, Kerry. The numbers were bad. Really bad. Like \u201csomebody go make some \u2018Everything Must Go!\u2019 signs\u201d<\/em> bad.<\/p>\n

Kerry was relieved someone else knew; I wondered if anyone would notice if I slipped out and took the next flight home.<\/p>\n

But 200 people would notice.<\/p>\n

200 donors, donor prospects, and community leaders were all waiting for me at a cocktail party at a beautiful home in the Hollywood Hills. I\u2019d never been to the Hollywood Hills before (note: the roads are very windy).<\/p>\n

But that was far from my only \u201cnever.\u201d<\/p>\n

I had never worked at a nonprofit before, let alone lead one.<\/p>\n

I had never asked anybody for money in my life.<\/p>\n

Sure, I had great corporate<\/em> experience. But that\u2019s not really quite the same thing, is it? I felt terrified. I knew there were some nonprofit lifers who assumed (hoped?) I would fail.<\/p>\n

I was completely out of my depth. What was I doing here? How quickly would they figure out the mistake they made in hiring me?<\/p>\n

Imposter Syndrome. Full force.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s what happened next\u2026<\/p>\n

I took a deep breath, walked in, and like a good Irishwoman, headed straight for the bar. A drink settles the nerves, my tee-totaling grandmother once told me. I chatted up the bartender (also like a good Irishwoman) and learned that he was a member of my new staff (Jason would later become my Director of Special Events and now runs his own special events company<\/a>.) He was kind and encouraging. And funny. In situations like this, \u201cfunny\u201d is one of the single most important attributes.<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t leave you in suspense. I did a good job that night. We raised some money. Probably covered payroll for a little while, keeping layoffs at bay.<\/p>\n

I woke up the next morning and felt a bit better but still wondered when the real<\/em> Executive Director was going to show up. Imposter Syndrome doesn\u2019t go away in just\u00a0a day.<\/p>\n

MY HUNT FOR A CURE<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n

There weren\u2019t really blogs in 1997. Google didn\u2019t launch until the following summer. Can you imagine? I couldn\u2019t even google \u201chow to be a great executive director<\/a>.\u201d There were books for sure from wonderful places like Board Source and publications of all sorts.<\/p>\n

But nothing was quite right. None gave the real story. I didn\u2019t want the clinical \u201ccorrect answers.\u201d<\/p>\n

I wanted to hear another leader\u2019s personal story of how s\/he turned things around at an organization in financial disarray.<\/p>\n

Or the voice of someone who had played many different positions on the nonprofit field and who could advise me on what this thing was called a board and what \u2018engaging\u2019 them actually looked like in practice.<\/p>\n

Or somebody who could make me laugh about the predicament I was in and serve as a cheerleader for my success.<\/p>\n

But these voices didn\u2019t exist. There was nothing even close. Nothing deep and rich and filled with stories that reminded me that I was not alone and that nonprofit leadership is hard and messy but also a gift, a privilege, a joy.<\/p>\n

Nothing to help me overcome Imposter Syndrome.<\/p>\n

5 ANTIDOTES FOR IMPOSTER SYNDROME<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n

So what did I do? I figured it out myself. I had no other choice.<\/p>\n

Here are five things I learned that you could try yourself to help stomp out the \u201cimposter\u201d and own your job.<\/p>\n