{"id":597151,"date":"2025-01-02T07:55:00","date_gmt":"2025-01-02T12:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/?p=597151"},"modified":"2024-12-09T10:58:20","modified_gmt":"2024-12-09T15:58:20","slug":"how-to-build-authentic-relationships-electronically","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joangarry.com\/how-to-build-authentic-relationships-electronically\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Build Authentic Relationships Electronically"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When I began blogging back in 2012, I looked for others out there blogging, offering wise counsel, compassionate truth-telling, and advice on self-care to nonprofit leaders. It took me no time at all to find Beth Kanter<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beth and I have emailed and Zoomed regularly for over a decade and I consider myself lucky to say that I have a real relationship with her. Sure, we talk about the state of the nonprofit sector and share our thoughts and what leaders need. But we also talk about our health and our kids. And when I say talk, it’s via email 95% of the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few weeks ago, I spoke at the Stanford Social Innovation Review\u2019s annual Nonprofit Management Institute<\/a> \u2013 a terrific conference and I highly recommend it. Before leaving the East Coast, I scoped out the speakers and there was Beth Kanter. At first, I thought \u201cOh, that\u2019s so nice. I\u2019ll get to see her.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then it hit me. I\u2019d actually never met her in person<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I reached out and she happily accepted my dinner invitation. We shared a meal at a Vietnamese restaurant and chatted as if it was one of many dinners we had together through the years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the plane ride home, I found myself percolating about my relationship with Beth nurtured over email, text, and Zoom for over a decade. As baby boomers, Beth and I have decades of \u201cin the office\u201d experience where relationships were cultivated and nurtured \u2018water cooler\u2019 style \u2013 in the break room, stopping by an office or cubicle and kibitzing about our kids, our pets, our parents, or our mortgages. We built relationships IRL. (Translation: \u201cIn real life\u201d.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I found myself reflecting on how front and center the written word has become in the development and cultivation of relationships. Emails, Slacks\/Teams, texts. I barely even pick up the phone to talk to colleagues or even clients. It becomes about what you can type on your keyboard or your smartphone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, I invite you to contemplate with me as I offer some of the successful strategies to introduce yourself and to continue to nurture a relationship electronically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I won\u2019t bury the lede. The key is to retrain yourself. Repeat after me: written work correspondence cannot be purely transactional. Follow along and you will get the idea\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SHOW YOUR INTEREST<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Want to connect with someone new?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What will cut through the clutter? If we are talking about a donor or board prospect, you are not the only one knocking on their email door. Starting a relationship via email requires you to take a bit of extra time and show me that you did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve heard great things about you from X or through Y.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cX told me about the piece you wrote for ABC (or your guest gig on XYZ podcast \u2013 I read it (listened) and I especially liked X and Y \u2013 I thought to myself \u2013 I really like how this person thinks and feels like we may be kindred spirits.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019d love to meet and talk about how we might work together (podcast guest, volunteer, board member prospect.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try: <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI heard about you through X and I was intrigued. I learned that you have been a long-standing supporter and board member of ABC \u2013 I know their E.D. well and I believe that the word \u201crockstar\u201d may have been used\u201d OR \u201cI did a bit of my own homework and found out that you and I grew up in the same town!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MAKE THEM LAUGH<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I honestly can\u2019t remember if my client was having a bad day or if she was cheering me up because she knew I was having a bad day but there was this video of a dancing dog competition that wound up in my inbox. Made my day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How about an audio text message? \u201cRemember we were talking about that TV show we both loved and could not remember the theme song?\u201d Send an audio message and sing it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beth Kanter and I have aging dogs on meds. There are an array of challenges. Sometimes you just have to laugh about them. I could text a pic of Charlie or even a video of us explaining the newest aging challenge. I bet I would get one back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SHARE SOMETHING USEFUL<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

As a nonprofit leader, you are seen as an expert in your area. I love to share articles or TED Talks with staff or clients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WRITE LIKE YOURSELF<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I get that I have a head start here. I\u2019ve been writing like me for well over a decade. I have a voice. It is essential that I use it consistently so that readers learn I am accessible, knowledgeable, and authentic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you thought about those three words when you wrote, you\u2019d get the hang of this quickly. It\u2019s somewhere between formal and chatting with a BFF with a glass of wine in the evening after work \u2013 either on the old-fashioned phone or more likely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I promise you there are relational, authentic ways to use them. They require a small dose of intentionality and a big dollop of authenticity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

DIVERSIFY CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATION<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Boomers might default to email while a Gen Z staff member may lead with a text filled with shorthand texting. With remote colleagues, Slack or Teams becomes an essential mode of communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d encourage you to get a bit more intentional by considering the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n